"The Pacifier" (2005)
Starring Vin Diesel, Carol Kane, Lauren Graham, Brad Garrett
Directed by Adam Shankman
Vin Diesel follows in the footsteps of Arnold Schwarzenegger and tries his hand at comedy in the new Walt Disney film "The Pacifier." Unfortunately, he's about as funny as Sylvester Stallone.
Diesel ("XXX") plays Navy SEAL Shane Wolfe, who is on a mission to rescue a kidnapped scientist (Tate Donovan, "The OC") from some Syrians that want to know the location of his latest project. When the scientist gets killed during the mission, Wolfe is assigned to protect his five kids while their mother (Faith Ford, "Hope and Faith") goes away. At the same time Wolfe searches the house for the project, also known as "Ghost."
It is a familiar formula. The tough guy comes in, tries to take control of a group of kids, kids show him a thing or two, both learn to respect each other and in the end they say their tearful goodbyes. Oh, and there's a few action sequences and explosions thrown in for good measure. We've all seen similar plots before in other movies, most notably in "Kindergarten Cop," the difference is it worked in "Kindergarten Cop." The chemistry worked between the kids and Schwarzenegger, especially in the infamous debate Schwarzenegger has with the kids about a headache. How many of us have quoted that infamous line, "It's not a tumor!" at the most inappropriate moments?
Plus Schwarzenegger had Ivan Reitman, well known for such comedies as "Ghostbusters" and "Dave," as his director on that film while Diesel is stuck with Adam Shankman. Shankman, known for mediocre fare such as "Bringing Down the House" and "A Walk to Remember," doesn't seems to realize that simply putting Diesel in the movie isn't the funny part. They need to give him something amusing to do or at least have comic things happen to him.
Diesel, who seems to have no real chemistry with these kids, isn't a talented enough actor to be able to pull off the comedy of the film's inane screenplay. Diesel has been doing straight action for so long he hasn't learned how to fine tune his comedic timing. Schwarzenegger at least had the intelligence to know what worked with his limited acting range and what didn't, which also gives Schwarzenegger the leg up on Diesel in the comedic area. There's very little originality in the situations that Diesel is put in. How many times can we possibly laugh at diaper or fart jokes involving little kids or babies? Who thinks this is funny anymore? Although a few of the jokes hit their marks, such as an early scene with Diesel trying to keep the nanny in the house after she decides to quit, for the most part they fall with a huge thud.
And on top of that, when we meet the kids for the first time, they are the stereotypical "kids from hell" who eventually develop hearts of gold. They're all your standard movie kids and these parts could have been played by anyone. The oldest daughter Zoe (Brittany Snow, "American Dreams") is the rebellious teenager who feels she has to be strong for the rest of her family and can't pass driver's ed. Oldest son Seth (Max Theriot, "Catch That Kid") is having problems at school because he was forced to join the wrestling team by his father when all he wants to do is act. Lulu (Morgan York, "Cheaper by the Dozen") develops a crush on Wolfe and the two youngest are just there to provide the film's potty humor.
Lauren Graham ("Bad Santa") makes an appearance as the school's principal. Graham's character seems to only be there to provide the love interest for Wolfe, so the character ends up underdeveloped. Her small part in "Bad Santa" was more developed, and more fun to watch. Brad Garrett ("Everybody Loves Raymond") plays a sadistic wrestling coach and vice-principal that is eventually shown a thing or two by Wolfe. Garrett's character is just too bizarre to be believable. No real teacher would treat a kid like he treats Seth. Or if they did they would get fired.
We also have Carol Kane as a Bulgarian nanny who ends up quitting her job as nanny to these kids 15 minutes into the film. You'll wish you joined her. Kane is one of the more talented actresses in the business today and doesn't get the credibility that she deserves. She's good at playing these oddball characters such as her twisted Ghost of Christmas Present in "Scrooged" and with the little screen time that she has in the film she does a very good job of rising above the screenplay.
The action scenes were one of the few good things in the film. They were well done and there should have been more of them thrown in. Before his directing career, Shankman was a choreographer on a number of films, which is probably why the action sequences work so well. Perhaps he should go back to choreography. It seems to suit him.
"The Pacifier" isn't even passable entertainment. You're better off renting "Kindergarten Cop."
Buy "The Pacifier" on DVD
Directed by Adam Shankman
Vin Diesel follows in the footsteps of Arnold Schwarzenegger and tries his hand at comedy in the new Walt Disney film "The Pacifier." Unfortunately, he's about as funny as Sylvester Stallone.
Diesel ("XXX") plays Navy SEAL Shane Wolfe, who is on a mission to rescue a kidnapped scientist (Tate Donovan, "The OC") from some Syrians that want to know the location of his latest project. When the scientist gets killed during the mission, Wolfe is assigned to protect his five kids while their mother (Faith Ford, "Hope and Faith") goes away. At the same time Wolfe searches the house for the project, also known as "Ghost."
It is a familiar formula. The tough guy comes in, tries to take control of a group of kids, kids show him a thing or two, both learn to respect each other and in the end they say their tearful goodbyes. Oh, and there's a few action sequences and explosions thrown in for good measure. We've all seen similar plots before in other movies, most notably in "Kindergarten Cop," the difference is it worked in "Kindergarten Cop." The chemistry worked between the kids and Schwarzenegger, especially in the infamous debate Schwarzenegger has with the kids about a headache. How many of us have quoted that infamous line, "It's not a tumor!" at the most inappropriate moments?
Plus Schwarzenegger had Ivan Reitman, well known for such comedies as "Ghostbusters" and "Dave," as his director on that film while Diesel is stuck with Adam Shankman. Shankman, known for mediocre fare such as "Bringing Down the House" and "A Walk to Remember," doesn't seems to realize that simply putting Diesel in the movie isn't the funny part. They need to give him something amusing to do or at least have comic things happen to him.
Diesel, who seems to have no real chemistry with these kids, isn't a talented enough actor to be able to pull off the comedy of the film's inane screenplay. Diesel has been doing straight action for so long he hasn't learned how to fine tune his comedic timing. Schwarzenegger at least had the intelligence to know what worked with his limited acting range and what didn't, which also gives Schwarzenegger the leg up on Diesel in the comedic area. There's very little originality in the situations that Diesel is put in. How many times can we possibly laugh at diaper or fart jokes involving little kids or babies? Who thinks this is funny anymore? Although a few of the jokes hit their marks, such as an early scene with Diesel trying to keep the nanny in the house after she decides to quit, for the most part they fall with a huge thud.
And on top of that, when we meet the kids for the first time, they are the stereotypical "kids from hell" who eventually develop hearts of gold. They're all your standard movie kids and these parts could have been played by anyone. The oldest daughter Zoe (Brittany Snow, "American Dreams") is the rebellious teenager who feels she has to be strong for the rest of her family and can't pass driver's ed. Oldest son Seth (Max Theriot, "Catch That Kid") is having problems at school because he was forced to join the wrestling team by his father when all he wants to do is act. Lulu (Morgan York, "Cheaper by the Dozen") develops a crush on Wolfe and the two youngest are just there to provide the film's potty humor.
Lauren Graham ("Bad Santa") makes an appearance as the school's principal. Graham's character seems to only be there to provide the love interest for Wolfe, so the character ends up underdeveloped. Her small part in "Bad Santa" was more developed, and more fun to watch. Brad Garrett ("Everybody Loves Raymond") plays a sadistic wrestling coach and vice-principal that is eventually shown a thing or two by Wolfe. Garrett's character is just too bizarre to be believable. No real teacher would treat a kid like he treats Seth. Or if they did they would get fired.
We also have Carol Kane as a Bulgarian nanny who ends up quitting her job as nanny to these kids 15 minutes into the film. You'll wish you joined her. Kane is one of the more talented actresses in the business today and doesn't get the credibility that she deserves. She's good at playing these oddball characters such as her twisted Ghost of Christmas Present in "Scrooged" and with the little screen time that she has in the film she does a very good job of rising above the screenplay.
The action scenes were one of the few good things in the film. They were well done and there should have been more of them thrown in. Before his directing career, Shankman was a choreographer on a number of films, which is probably why the action sequences work so well. Perhaps he should go back to choreography. It seems to suit him.
"The Pacifier" isn't even passable entertainment. You're better off renting "Kindergarten Cop."
Buy "The Pacifier" on DVD
posted by ScoopOnFilm @ 11:57 AM
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