Scoop On Film

"The Producers" (2005)

2006-05-23T09:09:00.000-07:00

Starring Matthew Broderick, Nathan Lane, Uma Thurman
Directed by Susan Stroman

"The Producers" is the movie version of the Broadway musical based on the 1968 movie (you got that?). It's a good film, but doesn't quite measure up to the original.

Max Bialystock (Nathan Lane, "The Birdcage") is a Braodway producerwho has had nothing but flops for awhile now. Leo Bloom (Matthew Broderick, "Election") is an accountant who unwittingly gives Max an idea that he can make more money than a flop. So they start the scheme to get the worst of everything in order to make the scheme work. However, the play they chose, "Springtime for Hitler," ends up becoming a hit.

I loved the original "The Producers." It's one of the great comedy hits from the 1960s, and the jokes were hysterical. As much as I love the music from this version of it, there's something missing. Maybe it's because I've heard a lot of the jokes used in this film in the previous version. Maybe it's because that, as good as Lane and Broderick are in their roles, they just aren't Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder. Maybe because it just doesn't seem original to me anymore.

Not that it's a terrible movie. Director Susan Stroman (TV movie "Contact") makes the film feel more like a Broadway show. It's very rare to get most of the original cast to play their characters in the film version, and it lends to the Broadway feel of the film. I just think it's because the original film so ingrained in my memory that I couldn't help but make the comparisons.

If you haven't seen the 1968 film, you'll probably get a kick out of this adaptation. If you have, you'll most likely be disappointed.

Buy "The Producers" on DVD!

"I Spit on Your Grave" (1978)

2006-05-22T05:07:00.000-07:00

(a.k.a. "Day of the Woman")

Starring Camille Keaton, Eron Tabor, Richard Pace, Anthony Nichols, Gunter Kleeman
Directed by Mier Zarchi

This is the film that film critics Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert led a successful campaign to remove it from the theaters because of the content. Admittedly, it's not an easy film to watch by any stretch of the imagination, but I wouldn't consider it complete trash like they did.

Jennifer (Camille Keaton, Buster Keaton's grand-neice) is a writer who goes to the country to write her first novel in peace and quiet. However, four rednecks have other ideas and, in one of the most brutal scenes put to film, rape her repeatedly. After recovering from her wounds, she gets her revenge.

Now the film, originally called "Day of the Woman" when it was released, is not the first film to deal with revenge. Before this, there was Wes Craven's "Last House on the Left," which involved the parents of a teenage murder victim getting revenge on her killers. The fact that the film had the victim getting the revenge over some second party might have made some people squeamish about the whole thing or pooh-pooh the concept of the film.

Yeah, the film is exploitive. The rape scene is at least 30 minutes long -- first she's raped in the woods, then in a wooded clearing, then in her cabin. But I wouldn't say the film encourages rape or makes it look "entertaining" -- quite the contrary. It is shown in its naked brutality, and shows the realities of rape. Director Mier Zarchi was allegedly inspired to make the film after seeing the aftermath of a woman on the street who had been raped and abused. Watching Jennifer go through what she goes through, you just want to cringe because of how brutal it is.

How she gets her revenge is not any less exploitive. She seduces two of the men, hanging one as he comes to climax and castrating the other one and allowing him to bleed to death while locked in a bathroom. She kills one with an axe to the back and manages to kill the fourth while he's stupidly perched on the outboard motor while talking to her.

It's not a movie I would recommend primarily because of the exploitive nature of it.
But it's not AS bad as people make it out to be. Camille Keaton's performance is actually pretty good, and took some bravery on her part. The four guys playing the rapists could use some work (in fact, going to imdb.com, neither of them acted in another film after this one) . And if you watch it, it's clearly told from the victim's point of view.

Again, can't really recommend it, but if you feel like you have to watch it, see if you can find the Millenium edition DVD, which contains two commentary tracks. One from director Mier Zarchi, and one from southern film critic of B-movies Joe Bob Briggs. Highly recommend the Joe Bob Briggs track.

Buy "I Spit on Your Grave" on DVD

"The Da Vinci Code" (2005)

2006-05-20T05:30:00.000-07:00

Starring Tom Hanks, Audrey Tatou, Paul Pettany, Alfred Molina, Ian McKellan
Directed by Ron Howard

“The Da Vinci Code” combines thriller aspects similar to “National Treasure” and puts together a workable film but still managing to have a few issues that don't make it work completely.
I might be a little biased because I read the novel beforehand, and thought that New Hampshire native Dan Brown's book was a real page-turner. As a person who understands adaptations from book to film often need changes to make them work for a more visual audience, director Ron Howard (”Cinderella Man,” “A Beautiful Mind”) did a decent job with trying to adapt material that is complicated to turn into a film that won't run 4 hours if everything was thrown into it.
Most everyone knows the plot, but for those who have been in a cave for the past 3 years, it goes like this. Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) and Sophie Neuveu (Audrey Tatou, “Amelie”) are hunting down clues to find out why Louvre curator Jacques Sauniere was killed. They're being pursued by an overzealous French policeman (Jean Reno, “The Professional”) who thinks Robert Langdon is guilty of the murder, and an albino monk (Paul Bettany, “A Beautiful Mind”) who is trying to make sure that the secret stays hidden.
Now, there are a lot of aspects about this film that I did like. Howard did manage to bring some plausible humor into the situations that they get into. And I liked the fact that Robert Langdon in the film is a Catholic and doesn't completely buy into the theory of the “secret” of the story. This should appease some Christians that there is an alternate voice that was lacking in the novel.
The acting was decent enough. Bettany did a great job of not only having albino monk Silas be evil and menacing, but also making him sympathetic. I think the fact that they go into his back story should appease and explain that he isn't evil because he's an albino but because of how he grew up should appease the albino groups that were worried about his portrayal. Also another thing that should satisfy the albinos: Silas has blue eyes.
Reno is one of those actors who can read the hone book and he's watchable. Alfred Molina (”Spider-Man 2”), who played Bishop Aringarosa, wasn't on screen enough to feel any sympathy for him.
As far as Hanks and Tatou go, they were passable. Hanks, who's usually a very good actor, underplayed his role quite a bit in the film, and it almost resulted in this monotone-ish quality to his acting. Tatou was cute as Nuveau, but had the same issues at times. It was like they decided to let the story speak for itself, but at the same time forgot that they were part of the story in question.
The story itself, in adapting it from the novel to the screen, got kind of mired in trying to fit in as much as possible into the film. One thing that annoyed me was the same thing that annoyed me in “National Treasure” [--] they figured out the clues too quickly for it to be believable. I understand that there were some elements they have to speed up in order to make it into the film, but it annoyed me that I couldn't play along with figuring out the clues before the actors did in the story.
One thing I did like was the flashbacks to the different times in the story. Those were incredibly well done, and added a whole new dimension to the story that the novel lacked.
I would recommend not reading the book before seeing the film if you really want to have a good time with this story. Purists to the novel are going to hate this. Christians, maybe not so much as they think they will. But the albinos will love it.

Buy "The Da Vinci Code" products at Amazon.com!

Aeon Flux (2005)

2006-05-09T04:45:00.000-07:00

Starring Charlize Theron, Marton Csokas, Frances McDonald
Directed by Karyn Kusama

This is probably one of the most depressing action films I've seen in a long time. Even when the characters are trying to cheer each other up with "clever" lines, they're still in need of a Prozac.

Aeon Flux (Charlize Theron, "Monster") is an assassin for a secret group called the Monicans. It's 400 years into the future, and society has been killed off by a mysterious virus. Those that survived are now living in a walled community where everything isn't what it seems. Flux has been commanded to kill chairman Trevor Goodchild (Marton Csokas, "The Bourne Supremacy") by The Handler (Frances McDormand, "North Country"). But when she goes and tries to do it, she finds that something from her past is bringing up an even bigger mystery and preventing her from killing him. So she sets out to find what's going on and why her memory was triggered the way it was.

Although the stunts were on the spectacular side of things, it kind of makes you wonder how necessary most of the stunts actually were. It just seemed like a lot of them were just for pure show and didn't really contribute to the overall goings on. Director Karyn Kusama ("Girlfight") likes the tough girl roles, but didn't seem to know how to really use them here. Aeon's partner and friend Sithandra (Sophie Okonedo, "Hotel Rwanda") was underused. I would have liked to have seen more of her in the story.

The actors may have been having fun while making this, but it didn't seem to show in their performances. They all seemed too depressed to be having any fun with this. Their voices were more of a monotone throughout the film, and didn't seem to show any real emotion in the proceedings. Even the coloring chosen for a good portion of the film was rather dank and dark. Although it had its bright spots, the more intense action sequences seemed to have used the old technique of "let's hide the wires by shooting it at night!" method of filmmaking.

Yes, CGI was used in the film. But it didn't seem all that realistic in this world. Sithandra had hands for her feet, but it looked like she was wearing blue socks and someone just tacked in the hands.

There are better movies out there about the "future". You're better off watching "Blade Runner" than this mess.

Notice: Looking for Contributors

2006-05-09T04:37:00.000-07:00

I'll be looking for contributors to fill in the gaps when I can't see a film because of my real-world job (in which I actually do write for a living, just not as a film critic at the moment). I work every 8th weekend on average, so I'll need people to fill in those gaps. One of those weekends is coming up very soon.

Send me a sample of your work along with contact information to scooppc11@yahoo.com, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

-- Lori

"Elektra" (2005)

2006-05-08T12:05:00.000-07:00

Starring Jennifer Garner, Terence Stamp
Directed by Rob Bowman

Those who are looking forward to the eye candy of Jennifer Garner parading around in her little red outfit for most of "Elektra" are in for a rude awakening. Garner is only in the costume in the beginning and towards the end of the film. In between, we get a pointless story about an assassin protecting a young girl and her father from an evil organization called The Hand.

To be fair, I never read the "Elektra" comics, nor saw "Daredevil." I'm forced to judge the movie as a separate entity from both of them. I enjoy kick ass chick films as much as the next person, but all this movie did was make me wonder what the point was other than to make more money off the "Daredevil" brand.

The film opens with Elektra (Garner) being brought back from the dead by her mentor, Stick (Terence Stamp). She is an assassin for hire, who amusingly has an agent (Colin Cunningham). She is hired for a job, but soon discovers that the people she was intended to hit are a father (Goran Visnjic, "E.R.") and his 13-year-old daughter (Kirsten Prout), whom she befriended earlier. Instead of killing them, she decides to protect them from The Hand, who are searching for a weapon called the Treasure, which they will do anything to prevent it from falling into enemy hands.

One of the major problems with the film is that the Elektra character is so sullen. It appeared that Garner carried too much of her "Alias" character into the film and she could have cracked a smile more often. The fact that Elektra has obsessive-compulsive disorder adds nothing for the character and has no part in the story itself. On top of that, there were parts of the film where Garner's lines sounded garbled. There's a thing called enunciation, it'll work wonders for your next film.

Terence Stamp, best known from more recent films such as "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" and "The Limey," does an okay job here, but he isn't given a whole lot to do. If anything, the best little-used character was McCabe, Elektra's agent. He is amusing, and it would have been nice to see more of him in the film.

There were too many elements in the writing that didn't make sense. Why did The Hand assassins die in a puff of green smoke? Were they naturally supernatural? Is this something that was missed? Or was this just a really big plot hole? Other parts, like the relationship between Garner and Visnjic, were just contrived. It never felt like they would be a couple. The writers were just looking for an excuse to get these two characters together and it just wasn't believable.

The Hand warrior's Typhoid (Natassia Malthe), Stone (Bob Sapp) and Tattoo (Chris Ackerman) were, to say the least, not that memorable. If there was anything good about the film it was the martial arts sequences, but even they were cut so fast that it was hard to take in everything.

Overall, "Elektra" is just a waste for a comic book film. Stick with renting the "Spiderman" films for examples of how a comic book movie can be done right.

Buy "Elektra" on DVD

"Constantine" (2005)

2006-05-08T12:00:00.000-07:00

Starring Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz, Tilda Swinson, Gavin Rossdale
Directed by Francis Lawrence

"Constantine," the second comic book movie in less than two months, is a giant, dark mess of a film, but little elements here and there make it a hard movie to hate completely.

Keanu Reeves plays John Constantine, an exorcist who has the ability to see half-angels and half-demons. Since he tried to commit suicide when he was 15, Constantine is doomed to Hell when he dies. To redeem himself in the eyes of God to get into Heaven it is Constantine's job to send as many misbehaving half-breeds back to Hell to redeem himself in the eyes of God to get into Heaven. But he doesn't have much time left because he's diagnosed with a severe form of lung cancer from smoking most of his life. A detective named Angela Dodson (Rachel Weisz, "The Mummy") approaches a reluctant Constantine to find out what really happened to her twin sister who committed suicide under mysterious circumstances. Angela believes that her sister, as a "devout Catholic," was forced into the suicide. (Why are they always Catholic in these films?) It is all eventually linked to a newly found religious artifact called the Spear of Destiny, the spear that punctured Christ on the cross.

Part of the problem with the film is the screenplay. Kevin Brodbin and Frank Cappello's screenplay is hard to follow at times and seems written as if only fans of the graphic novel "Hellblazer" were going to go see the movie. One glaring example of this is a scene later on in the film where Constantine tries to put his arms together to form a symbol that has some sort of magical power. It's never established in the film that something would happen if he did that. You see the tattoos on his arm throughout the film, but they never get explained, so what is supposed to be climactic becomes rather anti-climactic. It seems like the screenwriters' task was to try to fit what could have easily been a three-hour movie into two, and cut things just for the sake of cutting.

Another problem was Reeves, although he does a decent job, you can't help but think you have seen this character in another movie, three to be exact. The names of these films are slipping my mind right now. Perhaps if I free my mind it'll come to me later. Weisz does solid work with her two characters and actually manages to play two characters distinctively. For a British actress her American accent isn't bad.

Beyond Weisz's character, most of the rest of the cast don't get much of an explanation beyond their initial introduction. First up on our list of one-dimensional supporting characters we have an alcoholic priest (Pruitt Taylor Vince, "Monster") whose only reason for being an alcoholic is to take away the voices of hell he hears in his head. Next we have a religious relics salesman (Max Baker, "Life or Something Like It"), who's like Constantine's version of Q from the James Bond movies. We also have a nightclub owner (Djimon Hounson, "Biker Boyz") who's a former witch doctor whose clientele are half-breeds. Then there's Constantine's assistant, Chas (Shia LeBeouf, "Holes"), who wants to be like Constantine and talks likes a white guy trying to be "street" (basically the same character he played in "I, Robot.") It would have been nice to see more of these characters throughout the film and their relationship to Constantine, instead of randomly thrown in for plot convenience.

As if there weren't enough characters populating the screen, there are two other characters worth mentioning: the half-angel Gabriel (Tilda Swinton, "Vanilla Sky") and the half-demon Balthazar (Gavin Rossdale, lead singer of Bush). Gabriel is an androgynous being who seems to have resentment towards humans, while Balthazar seems to be acting on murderous orders from the devil himself. Both Swinton and Rossdale do well with their parts, but Rossdale is the real surprise. He has a movie star quality to him and hopefully he'll get better roles in the future.

Visually, the movie conveyed a spiritual version of film noir filmmaking. First time director Francis Lawrence's version of Hell as downtown Los Angeles during rush hour is rather amusing, but a lot of the colors were muddy and bland. The visual look of the demons was definitely cool. They looked scary and creepy, and I probably jumped a few times when they suddenly came onto the screen. Usually in these films the demons either look really bad or too much like puppets to be taken seriously. While Lawrence has an interesting visual eye he needs to go beyond the look of music videos if he's going to make another film.

The film did have some other redeeming qualities. It was nice how, despite other problems with the screenplay, they didn't try to force a romance on Constantine and Angela. Every once in a while the movie did allow for an amusing moment. For example when Constantine has to dunk Angela in a bathtub to allow her to go into Hell, she asks him if she needs to take her clothes off. He says nothing and when she asks him again, he replies, "I'm thinking." Little scenes like that made an otherwise mediocre film worth sitting through. If "Constantine" had more of these moments it would have been a much better film.

Buy "Constantine" on DVD

"Cursed" (2005)

2006-05-08T11:59:00.000-07:00

Starring Christina Ricci, Joshua Jackson, Jesse Eisenberg
Directed by Wes Craven

Director Wes Craven and writer Kevin Williamson, the team behind "Scream," give us a too-hip-for-its-own-good take on werewolves in their latest film "Cursed."

Christina Ricci ("Monster") and Jesse Eisenberg ("The Village") star as siblings Ellie and Jimmy, who are bitten by a werewolf. Naturally all the typical weird changes begin to emerge such as heightened sense of smell, cravings for raw meat, unusual sexual attractiveness. Soon they discover that they are "cursed" and must find the original werewolf to reverse it.

Due to script rewrites, the film was delayed for a year and was recast since the original cast members were no longer available. To make matters worse, Craven was forced to make cuts to secure a PG-13 rating. The cuts weren't too noticeable, and aside from excess gore and language most audience members probably won't notice the differences between this and an R-rated version of the film. After seeing the final product it would be interesting to see what they "fixed." As it is, there are times where the script tried too hard to be as hip as "Scream" was for the slasher genre.

Since "Scream" was released there have been an assortment of imitators. With "Cursed" Craven proves that the "hip horror movie" well has pretty much dried up. "Cursed" in some respects is a distant cousin to Michael J. Fox's "Teen Wolf," although Craven's film leans more towards horror than comedy. Craven would've fared better to move even further towards horror.

The movie is set in Los Angeles, which allows the film opportunities for an abundance of in-jokes. Ellie's job is as a producer on "The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn," also allows for an assortment of cameos. That's right, you get such celebrities as the aforementioned Kilborn, Lance Bass and Scott Baio. Can you handle the star power? To be fair, Baio does rather well in his cameo, especially since the joke involving him being third guest behind Ashton Kutcher and Carrot-Top on an episode of the "Late Late Show." The fact that Craig Ferguson recently replaced Kilborn as the host of the "Late Late Show" makes this segment of the film already feel dated, but that is the risk you run when adding cameos. We are also treated to a performance in the beginning of the film by the band Bowling for Soup, who sing their version of "Little Red Riding Hood."

Some of these in-jokes feel a bit over the top. These jokes are not in the same satirical spirit of "Scream" and instead make fun of L.A. culture rather than the conventions of the werewolf genre. The film should have stuck with the scares over the humor. That said, there is some interesting tinkering with the werewolf myth by stating that werewolves can only die when their heads are separated from their bodies and that silver only "hurts like hell". The performances are fine, with Ricci doing an adequate job as Ellie and Eisenberg doing well as the character that knows what's really going on, but of course, no one will believe him. The performances would have been better if they had been given a better script to work from.

Jimmy's plot line was probably the most interesting part of the story. In the beginning, he starts out as a nerd in love with a girl with a brutish boyfriend. After he becomes a werewolf he is finally able to stand up for himself against the bully. If this plotline were developed more the film would have been much better. Of the rest of the cast, Joshua Jackson ("Dawson's Creek") is given the thankless job of playing Ellie's boyfriend Jake. Jackson does what he can with a character that is for the most part one note. His lines mostly consist of telling Ellie, "I want you," "I want to be with you", but not really justifying why he wants to be with her after only two months. Judy Greer ("The Village") fairs somewhat better than Jackson as an annoying publicist. Greer gives her character a cattiness that makes a great foil for Ricci's Ellie.

The film did provide plenty of "jump" moments and provided some decent scares during the course of the story, but there was certainly room for improvement. Some of the editing is dizzying because of how fast things are cut together and while the transition from human to werewolf was fine, the actual werewolf design is too hokey. It looked like a guy in a suit pretending to be a werewolf. For excellent creature effects you're better off renting something more classic like "An American Werewolf in London."

If an R-rated version surfaces, it may prove to be a better film, but for now, we are stuck with this mediocre fare In either case if Craven and Williamson team again they should stop being "hip" and focus on the scares.

Note: this review was written before the current DVD release. I have yet to see the R-Rated version, but I doubt it's any better.

Buy "Cursed" on DVD

"The Pacifier" (2005)

2006-05-08T11:57:00.000-07:00

Starring Vin Diesel, Carol Kane, Lauren Graham, Brad Garrett
Directed by Adam Shankman

Vin Diesel follows in the footsteps of Arnold Schwarzenegger and tries his hand at comedy in the new Walt Disney film "The Pacifier." Unfortunately, he's about as funny as Sylvester Stallone.

Diesel ("XXX") plays Navy SEAL Shane Wolfe, who is on a mission to rescue a kidnapped scientist (Tate Donovan, "The OC") from some Syrians that want to know the location of his latest project. When the scientist gets killed during the mission, Wolfe is assigned to protect his five kids while their mother (Faith Ford, "Hope and Faith") goes away. At the same time Wolfe searches the house for the project, also known as "Ghost."

It is a familiar formula. The tough guy comes in, tries to take control of a group of kids, kids show him a thing or two, both learn to respect each other and in the end they say their tearful goodbyes. Oh, and there's a few action sequences and explosions thrown in for good measure. We've all seen similar plots before in other movies, most notably in "Kindergarten Cop," the difference is it worked in "Kindergarten Cop." The chemistry worked between the kids and Schwarzenegger, especially in the infamous debate Schwarzenegger has with the kids about a headache. How many of us have quoted that infamous line, "It's not a tumor!" at the most inappropriate moments?

Plus Schwarzenegger had Ivan Reitman, well known for such comedies as "Ghostbusters" and "Dave," as his director on that film while Diesel is stuck with Adam Shankman. Shankman, known for mediocre fare such as "Bringing Down the House" and "A Walk to Remember," doesn't seems to realize that simply putting Diesel in the movie isn't the funny part. They need to give him something amusing to do or at least have comic things happen to him.

Diesel, who seems to have no real chemistry with these kids, isn't a talented enough actor to be able to pull off the comedy of the film's inane screenplay. Diesel has been doing straight action for so long he hasn't learned how to fine tune his comedic timing. Schwarzenegger at least had the intelligence to know what worked with his limited acting range and what didn't, which also gives Schwarzenegger the leg up on Diesel in the comedic area. There's very little originality in the situations that Diesel is put in. How many times can we possibly laugh at diaper or fart jokes involving little kids or babies? Who thinks this is funny anymore? Although a few of the jokes hit their marks, such as an early scene with Diesel trying to keep the nanny in the house after she decides to quit, for the most part they fall with a huge thud.

And on top of that, when we meet the kids for the first time, they are the stereotypical "kids from hell" who eventually develop hearts of gold. They're all your standard movie kids and these parts could have been played by anyone. The oldest daughter Zoe (Brittany Snow, "American Dreams") is the rebellious teenager who feels she has to be strong for the rest of her family and can't pass driver's ed. Oldest son Seth (Max Theriot, "Catch That Kid") is having problems at school because he was forced to join the wrestling team by his father when all he wants to do is act. Lulu (Morgan York, "Cheaper by the Dozen") develops a crush on Wolfe and the two youngest are just there to provide the film's potty humor.

Lauren Graham ("Bad Santa") makes an appearance as the school's principal. Graham's character seems to only be there to provide the love interest for Wolfe, so the character ends up underdeveloped. Her small part in "Bad Santa" was more developed, and more fun to watch. Brad Garrett ("Everybody Loves Raymond") plays a sadistic wrestling coach and vice-principal that is eventually shown a thing or two by Wolfe. Garrett's character is just too bizarre to be believable. No real teacher would treat a kid like he treats Seth. Or if they did they would get fired.

We also have Carol Kane as a Bulgarian nanny who ends up quitting her job as nanny to these kids 15 minutes into the film. You'll wish you joined her. Kane is one of the more talented actresses in the business today and doesn't get the credibility that she deserves. She's good at playing these oddball characters such as her twisted Ghost of Christmas Present in "Scrooged" and with the little screen time that she has in the film she does a very good job of rising above the screenplay.

The action scenes were one of the few good things in the film. They were well done and there should have been more of them thrown in. Before his directing career, Shankman was a choreographer on a number of films, which is probably why the action sequences work so well. Perhaps he should go back to choreography. It seems to suit him.

"The Pacifier" isn't even passable entertainment. You're better off renting "Kindergarten Cop."

Buy "The Pacifier" on DVD

"Million Dollar Baby" (2004)

2006-05-08T11:56:00.000-07:00

Starring Clint Eastwood, Morgan Freeman, Hilary Swank
Directed by Clint Eastwood

Clint Eastwood's latest film "Million Dollar Baby" has brought heart and soul back into the boxing film for the first time since the original "Rocky".

The story is told by Eddie (Morgan Freeman, "The Sum of All Fears"), a former boxer who lost an eye in his last fight and now works for trainer Frankie (Clint Eastwood), who blames himself for Eddie losing his eye. We are soon introduced to Maggie (Hilary Swank, "Boys Don't Cry"), a wannabe boxer who wants Frankie to train her. Frankie refuses at first, but when the boxer he was training leaves him for another manager, and after some talking up by Eddie, Frankie decides to take on Maggie until she finds another manager. What develops is a special bond between these two characters that goes through hardships and triumphs.

The performances by all the characters were believable. Swank in particular is a standout and deservedly won her second Oscar for Best Actress. Throughout the film you believe that her life before becoming a boxer was hard and that this was all she wanted to do to escape her "trailer trash" beginnings. What makes her performance so memorable is that you can sense her determination to be a boxer and her thrill at her triumphs as well as her disappointments. As the film progresses, she starts to care about Frankie as if he were her surrogate father.

Eastwood was also very good as Frankie. Struggling with the rejection from his own daughter as well as his guilt for Eddie, you can see how he slowly adopts Maggie as if she were his own, even going so far as to protect her emotionally and physically. Morgan Freeman, although he is telling the story, is really only a minor character in the scheme of the story. But his presence is felt throughout the film in various areas. His Oscar for Best Supporting Actor was definitely warranted as he pulls his part off wonderfully.

Freeman's character works as a janitor at the gym as well as helps train other boxers, and lives there. But he doesn't feel sorry for himself. Instead he takes pride in what he can do and his own triumphs instead of dwelling on what he can't do any longer. And that comes through in Freeman's performance. Eastwood, who won the Oscar for Best Directing for this film, is a wonderful storyteller and it shows in past films such as "Unforgiven" and "Mystic River." You can tell through his simple, non-showy direction that the only thing Eastwood is interested in is the story and characters.

The pacing of the film is slow, but it has to be in order to develop the characters. Even Freeman's narration suggests a leisurely pace in the telling of the story. He knows how to use both action and quiet moments that other directors seem to have a hard time balancing.

A lot of the lighting in the film is in shadow, in particular in the gym scenes. It's a dramatic effect and allows the audience to understand what their lives were like before the action of the film. The film's brighter scenes, such as the fight sequences, are painted in broad color strokes in spots, with some murkiness still lurking underneath.

Only a few things about the movie felt a little false, in particular Maggie's family. They just seemed a little too "stereotypical" hillbilly. With someone like Maggie, it seems that with her sensibility she wouldn't come from a family like this but instead would have adopted their lifestyle long ago.

It's hard to say anything more about this film without spoiling it, although certain reviewers have done just that to "expose" an agenda. It started with Michael Medved when he went on The 700 Club and since then other reviewers have gone on to talk about the implications behind this film. No film should be spoiled for the viewer unless they want a spoiler. It shouldn't be forced on the public like Medved tried to do. In this case, after seeing the film, he was exposing an agenda that wasn't there.

Overall, "Million Dollar Baby" is a must see film, and highly recommended. The film deserves every one of the Oscars it won.

Buy "Million Dollar Baby" on DVD

"Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous" (2005)

2006-05-08T11:54:00.000-07:00

Starring Sandra Bullock, Regina King, William Shatner
Directed by John Pasquin

"Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous" has the longest title of any film so far this year and has one of the dumbest plots, as well.

When a bank robbery sting goes bust due to a patron recognizing Sandra Bullock's Gracie Hart from the Miss United States pageant, Gracie is chosen to "be the face for the FBI," in hopes of countering the bad publicity they had been receiving lately. After her transformation from agent to human relations mouthpiece, her best friend Cheryl, aka Miss United States (Heather Burns, "Two Weeks Notice"), and pageant host Stan Fields (William Shatner) are kidnapped. With the help of less than willing bodyguard Sam Fuller (Regina King, "Ray") Gracie must try to save them.

There were a lot of things wrong with this movie, but the biggest problem was the script. It just wasn't funny. The height of the humor relies on funny costumes and Bullock's and King's reactions to each other. We know that Gracie and Sam will eventually become friends, but there had to be a better path to get there.

The plot, although not meant to be believable, did have a problem with the idea of suspension of disbelief. In one scene, Gracie looks out the window of her hotel room and notices the limousines as a clue. Even with good eyesight, how in the world could you see limos from as high up as she was? And how could Miss United States not have 24/7 bodyguards around her all the time? Was the pageant budget that cheap that they couldn't afford someone to protect her?

Also, in a scene where they end up in a drag club, how could anyone not see that they were women and not men pretending to be women?

Director John Pasquin ("Joe Somebody") doesn't seem to understand that sitcoms and movies should have different feels to them. Most of his career has been directing sitcoms such as "Family Ties", "Roseanne" and more recently "George Lopez," a show Bullock produces. The feeling here is that he's just directed a two-hour sitcom that's an hour and a half too long. The parts that are funny rely on the humor coming from Shatner and Deidrich Bader ("The Drew Carey Show"), who plays Gracie's stylist. Shatner has a great sense of humor about his image and is willing to poke fun at himself. Bader is one of those actors who can just stand there and get laughs.

Because the actors didn't have much to work with as far as script goes, their performances aren't exactly up to par. Bullock has acted in better films than this. Why did she agree to do this film in the first place? As producer, you would think she would be able to find better roles for herself instead of rehashing the same thing over again. She should seriously start finding better roles for herself if she's going to continue producing and acting on a regular basis.

Bullock's Gracie has become self-centered and spoiled due to all the publicity surrounding the pageant. But then again, that's how most movie characters turn out when they are faced with incredible fame and fortune. It would be nice to see a film where the characters are still themselves after becoming famous.

King is destined to move on to bigger and better things, but not if casting directors see her in this film. She looks tough, she acts tough and apparently that was all she was required to do. Although there are few soft edges to her, King's character is just too angry all the time, which makes it hard to sympathize with her. Seeing as this is King's second sequel with an overly long title following "Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde," it would probably be good for her to read the scripts before agreeing to do another sequel.

One of the film's biggest surprises was the appearance of Elisabeth Rohm ("Law and Order") as an FBI agent. The characters she's been playing lately have been in law enforcement in one way or another. And they've been good. Was this really worth leaving "Law and Order"?

Since the film takes place in Las Vegas, the visuals are bright and garish in the city scenes, which pretty much describe Las Vegas as a whole. The New York scenes don't come off much better. New York is seen as dingy and dirty most of the time it's on screen. It seems to be a style by filmmakers to show one setting for a company as dingy and gray, while another office is shown to be clean and pristine. Don't know whether this is an attempt to show how different offices do things, but it's getting annoying.

Overall, the recommendation is to skip "Miss Congeniality 2" and rent "The Naked Gun" films if you want a good cops and robbers comedy.

Buy "Miss Congeniality 2" on DVD

"Sin City" (2005)

2006-05-08T11:52:00.000-07:00

Starring Bruce Willis, Jessica Alba, Mickey Rourke, Nick Stahl, Rosario Dawson
Directed by Robert Rodriguez

The unique visual style of "Sin City" will draw you into the film, but it's the stories that this city has to tell that will keep you riveted to the screen.

Director Robert Rodriguez takes three different stories from the "Sin City" graphic novels "The Hard Goodbye", "That Yellow Bastard", and "The Big Fat Kill" and translates them to the screen.

Since there are three different stories that Rodriguez ("Spy Kids") is working with, you might think that he would change some around a little bit. But commendably he hasn't changed anything from graphic novel to screen.

In "The Hard Goodbye", we meet an ex-con named Marv (Mickey Rourke) who finds himself next to a dead hooker (Jaime King, "White Chicks") and framed for her murder. In "That Yellow Bastard", we meet a retired cop named Hartigan (Bruce Willis) who is battling with a pedophile (Nick Stahl, "Bully"). And in "The Big Fat Kill", we have a long-standing truce between the prostitutes and the police about to be broken when a dirty cop (Benicio Del Toro, "21 Grams") is killed on the prostitute's turf.

The look of the film is like watching a live-action comic book. Rodriguez used pages from the graphic novel as his storyboards in setting up his shots, so the various shots are what you would see coming out of the original comics. The use of black and white with splash of color on various objects from a dress to a car to a pair of Converse sneakers help in giving the idea of watching the pages come to life, as well as contributing to the film-noir feel of the film.

Rodriguez used a similar technique that was used in the film "The Man Who Wasn't There" by the Cohen brothers, in which he filmed the movie in color then digitally removed the color from the film. It makes the characters stand out from their background and results in the picture being sharper and crisper than in a normal black and white film.

Another technique that Rodriguez uses is one that was used in "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow", in which the actors were filmed in front of a green or blue screens and only they, the props and the cars were real. What didn't work in "Sky Captain" works in this film, because Rodriguez was more concerned with story than technique.

Each actor looks like their respective characters in the film, and it brings the original graphic novel stories more to life. Although some actors didn't need makeup to portray their characters, others had prosthetics done to make the transformation for perfect. It's not enough that each one of the actors looks like the characters from the comic book. They do a superb job in their various parts bringing across each character's traits and quirks.

Rourke's Marv is a mean bastard that will do wrong to anyone who treats him badly. He captures this character accurately, and looks like he is having a ton of fun playing it.Willis is fantastic as Hartigan. He does a great job conveying the pain that his character feels in saving a young girl, but at the same time, he is being forced to confess to a crime that he didn't do. Clive Owen ("Closer"), who plays ex-photographer Dwight in "The Big Fat Kill", does a fine job coming across as a guy not to be fooled with.

"Sin City" has a large all star ensemble casts, but naturally there are bound to be a few standout performances. In particular Jessica Alba ("Dark Angel") as a stripper with a heart of gold and Rosario Dawson ("Alexander") as a prostitute with an itchy trigger finger rise above more than mere eye candy. Del Toro as the very bad cop in "The Big Fat Kill" is another standout. He looks like he'll hit you if you cross him.

One more standout in this large cast is that of Elijah Wood, as a character known simply as Kevin. Without going into too many details, let's just say that Wood brings a very eerie characterization to the screen and that he has completely wiped Frodo from the minds of any "Lord of the Rings" fans.

Despite the fact that the film's characters are what you would normally see in a typical film noir film such as the damsel in distress, the big tough guy or the cop gone wrong, Rodriguez and Miller turn these archetypes on their ears. Even the narrations used throughout the film used by the leads in each story play into the film noir feel of the film. Miller's original dialogue is almost completely intact from the source material, so we are able to really get into these character's heads. The lead female actresses are strong women that don't take crap from the men in their lives. The strongest example of this is that of the prostitutes of Old Town. They may be hookers, but they'll defend themselves if provoked. There are men in the story who will defend a woman's honor and wouldn't think of hitting a woman. As an example, you find out that as sadistic as the character of Marv is, he won't hit a woman out of principle.

Rodriguez shares his director credit with creator Frank Miller and having Miller there seemed to help in regards to the film. Because of a bad Hollywood experience in the past, Miller said "no" to a "Sin City" movie before Rodriguez approached him and showed him a sample clip. With Miller on board, it was a sure-fire way to make sure his property was treated right. Quentin Tarantino also receives a credit as a "special guest director." He directed a scene in the story "The Big Fat Kill" involving Owen and Del Toro for $1, just to get his hands on using the digital equipment. Without giving anything away, the segment had a definite black humor element to it.

The film is really violent. Tops of heads fly all over the place, people are getting shot or eaten, you get the idea. It takes on cartoonish qualities that Tarantino used in the "Kill Bill" films, so it can't be taken too seriously. The black and white tempers that a little bit, but be warned if you are squeamish about violence.

"Sin City" does justice to the comic it's based on and is one of the best comic book movies you will see this year or any year.

Buy "Sin City" on DVD

"Fever Pitch" (2005)

2006-05-08T11:47:00.000-07:00

Starring Jimmy Fallon, Drew Barrymore
Directed by Peter and Bobby Farrelly

"Fever Pitch" hits a home run by providing a date movie that both sexes can enjoy.

The movie is a loose remake of an obscure 1997 British film based on Nick Hornby's ("High Fidelity") memoir, which chronicled his life as soccer obsessed schoolteacher. When Lindsey (Drew Barrymore) meets Ben "the Schoolteacher" (Jimmy Fallon, "Taxi") they quickly fall in love, but the problem is Lindsey has fallen in love with Ben's off-season persona. During baseball season, Ben is obsessed with the Boston Red Sox. At first Lindsey tries to understand Ben's passion for the sport, but later it gets in the way of their relationship.

When the Red Sox defied the odds and won the World Series last year the film's ending had to be rewritten. Originally the Red Sox lost again and didn't win the World Series until 2050.

During the end of the baseball season, everyone in Red Sox Nation had started hearing the buzz on this film, primarily because of Barrymore and Fallon showing up at Game 4 of the World Series to shoot the ending.

In spite of this "free publicity," which can often turn anticipation into disappointment, the movie is well done and funny. The script, written by Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel ("Robots"), gets to these characters' hearts and tries to understand their various obsessions.

In Lindsey's attempts to understand Ben, she goes to games and reads up on Red Sox lore. But it gets to be too much for her when it starts interfering with her work.

Some of the funniest scenes involve Lindsey's realizations about how far Ben's obsession really goes. They're funny because they're true.We all know people who are absolutely obsessed with something in their lives, whether it's sports, music, or anything else. This gives the film a more universal appeal than if it was just about baseball.

She realizes too late that she has fallen in love with two men: Summer Guy and Winter Guy. Winter Guy is nice, sweet, and caring. Summer Guy is the kind of fan who seems to think that his girlfriend getting beamed in the head with a baseball is reason enough to give the retriever of the ball a high-five. For those readers who might be the type of die-hard Red Sox fan that Ben's character is, you'll find yourself laughing just because you recognize him as yourself, even if you don't want to admit it. Or you'll find yourself wishing you had some of his stuff.

The performances of Barrymore and Fallon make us believe that these two characters can fall in love and they are incredibly likeable. The chemistry between Fallon and Barrymore is perfect. You can't imagine her being with anyone else, but him in this movie. They look like they could be a real couple.

Barrymore always plays these cutesy type characters, and she does it here, too. But she's just so adorable that you can't help but fall in love with her. And Fallon redeems himself from the disastrous "Taxi" to come back here as Ben, and makes us believe that he can be an obsessed Red Sox fan (even if he is a not-so-diehard Yankees fan in real life).

People want to hate Fallon because of his appearances on "Saturday Night Live" and "Taxi", but he's doing more than just mugging in this film. He's actually acting, and after seeing him in this role you can't imagine anyone else playing Ben.

Bobby and Peter Farrelly ("Stuck On You") took a departure from their usual gross-out type comedies to direct this film, and they did a great job with it. They have managed to make a comedy without the usual "sperm as hair gel" type humor, and show that they can do other films. They worked to put a lot of heart into this film and it shows through the direction.

For those critics that think that the Farrellys have gotten soft, they had taken this departure before in another obscure film called "Outside Providence." So doing "Fever Pitch" is not that big of a departure for them.

Much of the movie was shot in Boston and the city has never looked better. Boston is shown as the beautiful, historic city that it is. The shots at Fenway Park itself are incredible and you really believe that you are there. It makes you really want to go there this summer to watch a game.

"Fever Pitch" is the ultimate film about love, obsession, and the Red Sox. It's a great date movie for both sexes, and will have you cheering in the end.

Buy "Fever Pitch" on DVD

"The Amityville Horror" (2005)

2006-05-08T11:36:00.000-07:00

Starring Ryan Reynolds, Melissa George
Directed by Andrew Douglas

"The Amityville Horror" manages to do two things that most remakes have a hard time doing, be scary and improve on the original.

The story is based on the alleged true events of one of the most infamous haunted houses in paranormal history, as chronicled in the bestselling book by Jay Anson. In 1974, Ronald DeFeo, Jr. killed his parents and four siblings because he heard voices in the house telling him to do it. The next year, George (Ryan Reynolds, "Van Wilder") and Kathy (Melissa George, "Alias") Lutz move into the house with Kathy's three kids, and as soon as they move in weird things start happening.

For those not familiar with the original movie, consider yourselves lucky. There are significant changes between this telling of events and the 1979 film. For example, the original wasn't scary. It's hinted at throughout that there's something going on, but you don't see anything significant to come to this conclusion. In this remake, you see the ghosts of the house, and they are scary. The prosthetic makeup was done by Jake Garber (Benecio Del Toro's makeup artist on "Sin City"), and he does an excellent job of making these ghosts look gross and creepy.

In the original, a big deal was made about the fact that George (played by James Brolin in the original) was looking more and more like Ronald DeFeo before they decided to leave the house. In the remake, the resemblance was hinted at, but nothing is done to highlight it.

Also, in both versions the youngest daughter sees someone she calls Jody in the house. In the original, we never see Jody, although the story goes that Jody was a pig that talked to the daughter. In the remake, Jody is the ghost of one of the DeFeo children, and we see her quite a bit. Being able to see what the youngest daughter sees makes the story all that much better.

The acting in this version is definitely better than it was in the original film. Melissa George does a great job of playing Kathy, and really makes you believe that she is scared for her children when George starts becoming more sadistic. Reynolds is a surprise, going against the type of the usual goofy characters he plays in movies. He's intense in this film, and it's quite believable that he would go off the deep end after being in that house all the time. For the first time in his career, Reynolds is creepy with a purpose.

Another big surprise is the three kids in this film, played by Jesse James ("The Butterfly Effect"), Jimmy Bennett ("Hostage") and Chloe Moretz ("Heart of the Beholder"). The producers managed to get decent kid actors that most productions think of as window dressing. The kids here have significant roles in the film, and instead of acting like your typical "cute kids in peril," actually look frightened by the goings on in the house.

Michael Bay, who produced this film, also produced "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" remake. Although for the "Chainsaw" remake he stuck with the idea of keeping the kills off-screen like the original did, in this version they revamped the entire story to make it scarier than its predecessor, and it works.

Director Andrew Douglas, whose only other credit is a documentary called "Searching for the Wrong-Eyed Jesus," proves that he can go beyond the documentary format and move into fiction, and does it very well with this film. The visual look of the remake is dark and creepy throughout, and through the cinematography you sense that something isn't quite right with this house. Even exterior shots of the house make it look scary.

Buy "The Amityville Horror (2005)" on DVD

"A Lot Like Love" (2005)

2006-05-08T11:24:00.000-07:00

Starring Ashton Kutcher, Amanda Peet
Directed by Nigel Cole

"A Lot Like Love" was a lot like something, but it definitely wasn't love.

The movie takes place over the course of seven years. Oliver (Ashton Kutcher, "That 70s Show") and Emily (Amanda Peet, "Something's Gotta Give") meet on a trip to New York, and determine early on that they aren't right for each other. They keep meeting over those seven years, and start to think that there really might be something there between them.

Nigel Cole ("Saving Grace") had an interesting concept for a romantic comedy here, but somehow managed to flub it with every turn. It's a disappointment, because "Saving Grace" was such a good film. He must not have too much experience working with younger characters, because his idea of funny in this case was to throw them into a situation and say, "OK, go!" without thinking through whether it was funny or not to his audience.

Although this plot is somewhat similar to "When Harry Met Sally," it doesn't succeed in the same way. "When Harry Met Sally" focused on discussions about relationships between men and women in general while these characters fall in love over a period of time. "A Lot Like Love" takes this idea and doesn't give any insight into current male-female relationships, but instead focuses on the ridiculous and childish relationship between Emily and Oliver.

In one scene, Oliver and Emily meet up and go out for Chinese. In an effort to get the other person to talk first, they start spitting water at each other. This is not funny, especially when the silence is broken by Emily pretending that she's choking and Oliver ignoring her. Why didn't anyone fix this in the screenplay stage?

You don't care about these characters at all. They do really weird stuff to each other, such as take themselves out to the desert for an impromptu nude photo session. And they're destined to be together, but only because the screenplay tells them they have to be or else.

Their characters are just too involved in the Idiot Plot. The Idiot Plot, as coined by Roger Ebert, is defined as a series of circumstances in which misunderstandings that happen between the characters in the story can be easily explained in a way if the characters actually asked each other what was going on. However, the characters are such idiots that they don't think to do this. Often these developments are so easily explained that the movie would be over if the right things are said.

Emily and Oliver's lives are a series of Idiot Plots. If one of them just simply said that they loved one other, things would have been simpler. And the audience would be spared having to sit through the rest of the film. They have plenty of opportunities throughout, such as when they have sex in a parked station wagon or are making out in Emily's apartment, but never say "I love you" to each other.

And the ending is a perfect example of the Idiot Plot, which makes it more unbearable. Yeah, we know the lovers are going to end up together in the end, but the way it's done in this case, a misunderstanding about a tuxedo fitting, makes it unbearable.

Kutcher should have stuck to his modeling career. He's destined to play stupid characters for the rest of his life. Throughout the film he's going into the business of an Internet start-up selling diapers online. If his character did his research, he would have realized that this wasn't a good idea for the times.

Peet is just annoying, but she usually is in comedies. She should just stick to dramas. Her character is also not very bright. If she had asked the right questions in the beginning, she would have realized that the Oliver character was the one she was meant to be with right from the beginning.

One of the most annoying characters, above all else, was that of Oliver's little sister, played by Taryn Manning ("8 Mile"). Her favorite line she seemed to like to use was calling her brother a "dick". And when she says it you just want to say, "Don't you have anything else to call him other than 'dick'?"

About the only redeemable thing in this film was the relationship between Oliver and his deaf older brother, played by Ty Giordano. You can see that they cared about each other, and were able to joke with each other through everything. It would be nice to see a film involving just these two characters and their relationship over the years.

Buy "A Lot Like Love" on DVD

"Shaun Of The Dead" (2004)

2006-05-08T10:20:00.000-07:00

Starring Simon Pegg, Kate Ashfield, Nick Frost, Lucy Davis
Directed by Edgar Wright

Shaun (Simon Pegg) has a problem. At 28, his life is going nowhere. His best friend is a very minor league pot dealer (Nick Frost), his job is giong nowhere, the only thing he can think of to do for fun is hang out at his favorite pub, and his girlfriend Liz (Kate Ashfield) has dumped him. Oh, yeah -- people all over the world are turning into zombies.

What can you say about a movie that is a romantic comedy and a tribute to the zombie genre all rolled up into one? Watching the film, you get the feeling that writer/director Edgar Wright and writer/performer Simon Pegg know their zombie films. It uses bits and pieces from other films before it, and gives them a new twist.

And for a film about zombies, they aren't really the main story. The story is about Shaun learning to finally grow up and move on with his life. The zombie invasion just gives him the chance to finally prove himself, even if his first choice for a hideout location is the pub that his girlfriend despises.

The actors, who were mostly from the cast of the British comedy "Spaced", knew how to play this for laughs and horror. The funniest character was Nick Frost as Shaun's useless best friend. He's a shallow human being, but is also funny in his shallowness.

A not-to-miss film out of Britain, this will make you laugh out loud at the story and situations at the familiarity with zombie films, as well as add the new twist to romantic comedies.

Buy "Shaun of the Dead" on DVD

"Men In Black" (1997)

2006-05-08T03:55:00.001-07:00

Starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Linda Fiorentino, Vincent D'Onofrio
Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld

The reason why this movie works so well is not because of the CGI effects, which are impressive, or the kooky plot or even the joke about the different aliens living on our planet. It works because of the interaction between Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones as the two MIB agents who are out to save the universe from a buggy alien.

Jones plays the veteran agent training the newly hired Smith. Their task: to save the planet from the plans of a giant cockroach that has landed on Earth and taken over the skin of a redneck farmer named Edgar (D'Onofrio). Along the way they have to try to avoid the suspicions of a county coroner (Fiorentino), try to find a precious object, and look good doing it.

Liek I said before, what makes the film work is the interaction between Smith and Jones throughout the film. Jones is the straight-laced character, always serious and by the book. Smith is the "funny" one, always willing to break the rules even though he doesn't know all of them yet. Some of the best lines come out of Smith's mouth (When he captures a guy on the street and flashes his badge: "See this badge? N.Y.P.D.! Knock Your Punkass Down!"), but Jones reads his as straight-laced as possible and still manages to make them funny.

But the other actors weren't slouches, either. D'Onofrio's performance was inspired, as a bug whose character walks around in a "suit" that can't accomodate his massive frame. And he manages to steal the scenes without completely chewing the scenery or overdoing the part.

The CGI effects were well done in this film, you really can't tell the difference between the practical and the CGI with the more complicated aliens. The script, by Ed Soloman based on Lowell Cunningham's series of comics, really hits the notes of satire and comedy perfectly on general society and our perceptions of it.

The film is worth seeing again and again, and I recommend it to those who want to see one of the best of the best in the comedy/sci-fi genre.

Buy "Men in Black" on DVD

"Battlefield Earth" (2000)

2006-05-08T03:55:00.000-07:00

Starring John Travolta, Barry Pepper, Forest Whitaker
Directed by Roger Christian

Now, I can understand John Travolta getting mixed up in this mess of a film -- the book is based on Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard's questionable best-seller -- but why did an actor like Forest Whitaker get himself involved?

"Battlefield Earth" is considered one of the worst films of 2000. And with good reason. It could easily be seen as the "Plan 9 From Outer Space" for the 21st Century. The only reason I can see for a movie to be this bad being made today is if the director was extremely tight on money and didn't know what "production values" meant.

The Psychlos have taken over Earth in order to mine it. Kerl (Travolta) is the head of security, and the Psychlos have enslaved humans and convinced them that they were only put on this Earth to serve them. Kerl's plan is to use the humans to mine gold for him. But Johnny Goodboy Tyler (Barry Pepper) is determined, and sets out on a mission to stop the Psychlos on his own.

There are very, very many reasons why this film is so bad. One was the overuse of dutch angles. The angles were used to make the Psychlos look taller than they were in comparison to humans. But it just gets dizzying after awhile. Another thing that got me was the wipes. Yeah, it worked for "Star Wars," but that was because "Star Wars" was a good movie. And it wasn't like they used different wipe effects throughout the film, either. It was the same curtain wipe over and over again. You get sick of it after awhile.

The acting was atrocious, but I blame director Roger Christian for that. It was like John Travolta was trying to play a bad guy and not succeeding because Christian had in mind that he would have this annoying maniacal laugh throughout the film. And none of the actors seem to be trying hard to make this at least a watchable film. The Psychlos looked like dirty Rastafarians with nose plugs -- no style whatsoever. The picture for the most part looks like all the color was washed out.

But the worst part has to be the script for this mess. There were several plotholes taken from the book that should have been plugged up before production started. A harrier jet that still has gas in it can still fly after being in a cave for 1,000 years? Johnny can learn to fly said harrier jet in a matter of hours? Plus the lines these characters had to say bordered on the ridiculous at times -- Travolta's constantly insulting the humans reminded me of "Plan 9 From Outer Space" and the alien's infamous line of "Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!" At one point, Kerl talks about sending things to "the home office." Um...what?

This film is undeniably bad, and the sad thing is that it's not the kind of bad that can be enjoyed years from now. It's just completely unwatchable from beginning to end.

Buy "Battlefield Earth" on DVD

"Sixteen Candles" (1984)

2006-05-07T18:16:00.000-07:00

Starring Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall, John Cusack, Joan Cusack, Gedde Watanabe
Directed by John Hughes

Back in the 1980s, there was something about a John Hughes movie that guaranteed every teenager that at least someone eas listeining to them. At the time, the only movies coming out about teenagers usually had two themes: either the teenagers were sex-crazed and just looking to lose their virginity, or they were sex-crazed and about to get it in the head with a machete by some maniacal killer. Hughes brought the teenage film to a new level, treating the characters as real people and introducing the audience to the kinds of things these kids go through on a regular basis, only exaggerating slightly.

"Sixteen Candles" set the tone for what would become known as the "John hughes Movie." The plot is simple enough. Samantha (Molly Ringwald) is excited about her sixteenth birthday. However, no one else in the house is. Her parents AND visiting grandparents forget all about it because of the craziness surrounding her sister's wedding. The grandparents have brought a foreign exchange student with them by the name of Long Duk Dong (Gedde Watanabe) who seems a little odd. The school geek (Anthony Michael Hall) has a crush on her. She has a crush on senior Jake (Michael Schoeffling), who by all accounts doesn't know that she exists.

A lot of this may seem like normal teenage angst, but Hughes found a way to just twist it and make it funny. Samantha seems a little whiny throughout the film, but she has a reason -- you'd be whiny too if your family forgot an important birthday. The Geek is trying his hardest to be "cool," but has a hard time with it because he hangs out with other geeks. Jake actually does know who Samantha is, and proves that he's not a bad guy himself and is looking for more than "just a party." Among all this, you get some very sweet scenes between Samantha and the Geek as they discover that the other one is just as lonely as they are; and between the Geek and Jake as the Geek tells Jake all he knows about women (which is very little).

Overall, this film took the typical route of the teenage film at the time and altered it just enough to allow the audience to see another side to teenagers besides getting killed or having sex.